Hot Damnit - 

Ugh - it's hot. The kind of hot where you ( or just me ) come through the door whip off your shoes, socks , pants and bra in one sweeping motion and stand over the fan with it pointed directly at your crotch ... all this in 2.5 seconds flat - while the boy shakes his head and gets a freeze pop .......... it is lovely for a second and then I am off in pursuit of other avenues to cool my hot self off ........ 

A cold shower is what some people do - but my Daddy ( yes , my DADDY ) always said that if you got in to a cold shower and cooled off to much that by the time you got out shivering , your body spent so much energy trying to warm you up that you just got hot again .... huh ... makes sense ...... 

Swimming - I lost my suit and I cannot find it , and frankly Omar the tent maker made me the perfect suit once about 8 years ago - and I like that one - not a new one - THAT one - so I shall not go swimming until the suit is found ! Damnit ! 

Iced Drinks - well , I drink them but because of the OCD that plagues me I must leave them in the kitchen because they sweat all over stuff and get stuff all wet ... blech ! The running back and forth to the kitchen SO does not cool me off ...... 

Air conditioning - it is 120 years old the size of a Volkswagon and has decided that this will be the last freaking year that it shall cool me off ... the bastard ! I would buy a new one - but my Daddy cut a hole in the wall and mounted the damn thing in the wall - so if I venture out in to the world of nifty NEW Air conditioners I must find one that fits in the giant hole in the house - or one that will fit in to a window. Now  - I could do that - and put the nifty new air conditioner in my room  ( he he he ) but then only I would be cool and the boy would suffer and frankly the guilt would eat me alive .... 

Fans - We have 6 of them running I think - big ones , little ones, ceiling ones - ones that swivel , and ones that go up and down ..... the house has a HUMMMM and if the Apocalypse came in the middle of the night we would never hear it. I stand in front of them in different states of undress  - with the boy looking at me like I have 6 heads and telling me to PLEASE put some pants on . No way pal - FREEDOM to the sweaty crotch as long as I am in my own house !!!!  I may scar the boy for life .... but then again I am no Lady GaGa , grammy panties and a fan are pretty tame .